If you’re tempted to call B.S. on that one co-worker or friend who swears they never fight with their partner, you’re probably right. “All couples argue, and that is totally normal,” says Rachel Sussman, L.C.S.W., a relationship therapist in New York. “It’s how you argue that separates the healthy couples from those who are more challenged.”

In any fight, the main thing to remember is that you want to communicate more, not less. “When you feel yourself getting frustrated or annoyed with your partner, try to nip it in the bud. Address your concern,” says Sussman. “Tell your partner what’s bothering you and why and try to be solution focused instead of just doing an emotional dump. Then sit back and listen and validate your partner’s response. It’s as important to listen as it is to explain and explore your own feelings.”

To help you navigate the totally normal tiffs and blowouts, we asked the experts which fights are most likely to surface in your relationship and how to handle them when they do.
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